Friday, August 5, 2011

My new respect for SERE... and hatred of squirrels

This last weekend, Brandon finally dragged me out to the field for a camping trip. I love camping; I'm not sure why it took me getting pregnant to decide to go! Bad idea! I had to have been the worst student Brandon's ever had. The heat was kicking my butt and I was peeing every 15 minutes to an hour. I really tried hard not to complain because I know how much he complains about students :)
The first thing we got to do was hike up a steep trail to a log cabin! How dreamy, haha! Of course, my daughter was leading the way like a pro and I was so off balance and trailing behind. I had to have help up the treacherous parts, which Brandon scoffed at. "I would never help a student up! I laugh at them!" Yeah buddy, well you didn't impregnate them with your evil spawn either!
The log cabin was beautiful when you got past all the wild animal pee and poop everywhere. This guy knew how to build a house. A tree had fallen over on it and it hadn't budged! The chicken coop was still standing and there were remnants of the outhouse. We picked lots of huckleberries that were surrounding the cabin. Well, no, they picked berries while I stared at the log cabin and pretended I lived there :)
While we were watching Brandon chop down wood for the fire, Liberty picked a bunch of wild strawberries. Man, they were good! Liberty got to play in a little brook that was close by. It was so peaceful. I think it should be mandatory that SERE wives have to go there. We need to understand the beauty and the hardships. And we need the peacefulness! Getting back to those hardships...
Pregnancy is disgusting. Luckily, I found a made up toilet lid on a box. Obviously I brought along a roll of Charmin Ultra Soft. So, the peeing ALL the time wasn't too bad after you stopped caring if anybody was going to walk up on your naked butt sitting on a box. In the morning, however was a different story. I had to poop. It happens. I get to my toilet box and scope the area for anyone watching. It was clear. Too clear. I mean so clear that I couldn't find my Charmin! Someone stole my Charmin! Maybe an animal, but I'm betting some crappy SERE instructor trekked out to use the toilet and laughed at such a stupid civilian accessory and swiped it! If that wasn't bad enough, there was a squirrel who obviously hated me in his territory. He threw something at my back and started barking like mad at me. Can't I just poop in peace?
There's also nothing like morning sickness out in the field. I love my toilet. If I'm going to have to puke up my guts every day, I try to make it fun. I put one of those blue discs in the toilet so now my puke can look like colored art. It makes it so much better! I have a perfect sitting stance and routine. That all goes away when you are left lying in the dirt puking into a hole you dug up.
I spent one night in the woods and I was so drained for 2 days afterward. I couldn't imagine these guys spending 25% of their time in the woods. I have a new respect for all of them. It's fun, but it's so hard on the soul. Unless your soul doesn't care about beautiful blue toilet water and Charmin Ultra Soft toilet paper.

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